I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
axolola
learn2anarchy

Probably reading too much into it but this video has always filled me with such indescribable longing. Like the climax of a sports movie where everyone else has turned away from our hero facing impossibly long odds except for the one die hard with his fists clenched whispering, “come on you son of a bitch, you can do it.” But “it” in this case is outrunning the toxic nightmare of urban sprawl. I want him to run so fast he breaks free from the things we’ve done to this world. I want him to clear the city limits and find the forests that don’t really exist anymore. To gambol and forage and rest in primeval bliss. I want him to make it.

i-wear-the-cheese
charlataninred

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

meraarts

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

eater-of-hopes-and-dreams

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

blitzlowin

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

  1. The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)
  2. The Monster of Sentan
  3. The Witch’s Cat
  4. Raise Both Children
  5. Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)
  6. Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)
  7. My Arch Nemesis Cynthia
  8. Pirates and Mermaid
  9. Eindred and the Witch
  10. The Demon King
  11. The Cornerwitch
  12. Grandmother Beetroot
  13. Apocalypse Daycare Worker
  14. Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon
  15. New Year Saga
  16. A Story About Changelings
  17. Ranger in the King’s Forest
  18. The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit
  19. Goblin Men (Canines)
charlataninred

I am in love with you /p

the-thread-of-the-infinite

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

death-of-the-endless


Oh, love that story, adding it to the list:
20. Princess Talia
and adding a few more contenders
21. Thyme
22. The Monster under the Bed
23. A Meaningful Death
24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t
25. The Monster under the Fridge
26. Antler Guy
27. Cleric slamming healing spells

death-of-the-endless

Adding a few more I remembered: 
28. The Frog and the Scorpion
29. HSTHETE
30. The First Witch in the World
31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests 
32. A Faerie taking a Name 
33. The Dragon on the Farm 
34. Synovus & Menace 
35. Raising the Anti-Christ 
36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved) 
37. Doctors without Borders…in Space! 
38. The Villain-Wrangler 
39. The Last Contact 
40. The 100 Parent-Point Children 
41. And the Heavens Wept 
42. The Night Gentleman 
43. The Serpent God and their Priestess 

knottahooker

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

elidyce

So many more additions!

spongebobssquarepants
the-quasar-hero

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

schakira

okay… i can still see the folds on your wizard robe… iron it.

the-quasar-hero

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

schakira

no cause it’s really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn’t being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

the-quasar-hero

I just think it’s funny you think anything that isn’t dusted and busted like your grimoire is somehow less authentic, when the reality is you a broke ass wizard who can’t get your coin up! You gotta use hand-me-downs cuz no king wants to make use of your services! Maybe you should dress like this isn’t the third century and ppl would visit your sad lil’ wizard tower. Your grimoire so old I bet that shit got spells to deal with dinosaurs. I got a spell in mine to make wifi anywhere. Oh, and I know you ain’t talking about staffs when you carry around that plywood looking ass shit. You tryna conjure forth a Home Depot employee?

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schakira

you scroll-stuffing spell stealing nasty little SLUT

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the-quasar-hero

Nuh-uh, bitch, try again.

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unhiprainicornn

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i-wear-the-cheese